16/10/09
Location: Mala Strana, Praha, Czech Republic
Topic: Maschinenfest
The flight was great - British Airways from Heathrow is about as English as you get, but I did notice something. It happens with international flights. When you get on, it seems everyone speaks the local language (English in this case), and when you get off - and you’re waiting in line, or at the baggage claim, or in customs, wherever, that suddenly no one speaks English and it’s the locals doing all the talking - in this case, in German. Where did all the English people go?
This happened again when i left Germany. I’m on the overnight train and all i hear is German. We cross the border and suddenly it’s all Czech. What, did everyone just suddenly decide they were bilingual?
Anyway, I digress, because arriving to the Holiday Inn City Centre Essen (a joke within itself), was as painful and difficult experience i’ve ever had trying to find a hotel. Okay, St Petersburg a few years ago was worse, but that’s Russia - one comes to expect difficulties.
This is Germany. Where things work.
Unless you rely on Google.
Which, as it happens, is not German.
I somehow managed to get the right train from Dusseldorf airport into Essen - but then, well, let’s just say it took 1.5 hours, 2 taxis, 3 wrong hotels and 15 euro to get where Ely arrived in 15 minutes on a free S-bahn train. The problem? My own insistence that my google maps print off was correct - but as I now know, there is no Holiday Inn at Viehofer Platz, nor will there ever be.
After a quick reunion with Ely - and me jumping around one of the biggest hotel rooms i’ve stayed in - we hurried off to the Weststadthalle - a mere 5 minute walk away. A huge glass building with the most blistering sound system ever known to man was to become home for the next 3 nights. As i later found out, it was a constant eardrum piercing 156db within the cavernous space - dropping off 2db in the corners only. Audio perfection. The lighting system was superb - as were the merchandise stalls, and drink prices…. but it didn’t start off that well - i missed the set of the one guy I was hanging to see - Broken Note. So I caught Contaminent - dark, crunchy beats with extra crunch and as Gjoll proved to be a bit… err…average, i braved the masses of bald-heads and black clothes and went to look for friends - both new and old.
Liis was the person I was most looking forward to seeing - after being pen-pals over flickr for the last few years, we caught each other quickly and she did indeed proceed to be super awesome. With pockets full of spiced almonds from Olde Hansa - and marzipan chocolates, I probably have Liis to thank for the sugar rush keeping me going to and beyond 3am 
Phil, Babsi, GAndy and half of the Belio crew all jumped at hello’s and made for fantastic catchups over the next few days. I also had the pleasure of chatting with Ben aka HECQ - who played that evening. An incredible set - his was one of the few which felt organic, a crescendo of soundwaves, ranging from ambient to elements of dustup, to blippy, glitchy breaks and - who am i kidding, how can you describe this stuff? All i can say, is sometimes you’re dancing around, going nuts and you’re in “the moment”. HECQ had me in a trance for 45 mins. Incredible stuff.
Last up on the first evening was the mighty This Morn Omina - tribal 4/4 goodness which had everyone moving - if they chose to or not.
In a comatose state I woke the next morning, devoured my weight in breakfast and popped back upstairs to finish the book i was reading - The Road, by Christopher McCormack - suitably post-apocalyptic stuff for a post-apocalyptic weekend. After eating Ely’s pretzel, we wandered around Limbecker Platz, and I got far too excited about the German shops - and brotchen.
I grabbed my camera and caught Mono-Amine then Greyhound for the second night of Maschinenfest. The vibe was better - the first night seemed a little bit tired, I guess because so many people had travelled to get to Essen. Both were crunchy beats which got a good boogie on.
This all felt like a warmup though … to The Teknoist.
“What’s he like?”, i asked HECQ, a few minutes before he started.
“He’s, how do you say it…. fucking insane?”, he replied.
If anyone had the dancefloor moving at that stage it was The Teknoist. Brutal, breakcore inspired beats with hardcore and other genre-bashing core’s, it was a tiring 45 minutes, which I wished I had better soled feet.
As Brighter Death Now began their crunchy beats, I ducked out with Ely for a Subway dinner, coming across a curiosity in their choice of images to adorn the walls. Perhaps it’s was our perverse minds, but the tomato was definitely doing something questionable to the onion.
We headed back for Genieve Pasquier’s gothy-cabaret style of noise - hauntingly sexy - and I sat down at the back. The bass was so intense that i couldn’t stop coughing - my whole insides were tickling and I found it difficult to breath, so i went for a wander - chatted to Stefan Alt, Mr Ant-Zen himself - before Pow[d]er Pussy took to the stage and had everyone going nuts to the hyper-technoid rhythms. I kept hoping for their hero track, cryogenicpussylover, without luck 
Next up was 100Blumen - which started in amazing gurgles of distorted rhymes in very much a more ambient style, but this morphed into some truly terrible guitar and vocal lines which made many people scratch their heads. But it is experimental music, so I guess the variety is to be expected.
Headlining the second night was Synapscape - playing an utterly blistering set which Phil also agreed was one of their best. I remember seeing them once and though “they’re pretty good”, but this was a whole other league. Hypnotic - they had me in “the moment”. A set I can’t forget.
We staggered home and collapsed into bed - sleeping in and again devouring our weights in food at breakfast - and stuffing our pockets with more goodies. We spent the afternoon in a half-dead state at Starbucks. Thank god for American dosages of caffeine.
The third night of Maschinenfest began earlier - 3pm, and as i wandered around, taking bad photos of Liis and HECQ, i danced around like an idiot to the more melodic and wafty beats of Angina P - a highlight of the fest for myself, and somewhat surprised she was on such an early slot. Dazzling Malicious had the ‘crunchy beat’ timeslot and as Deutsch Nepal reared his ugly head, the venue emptied and I wandered into the warren of Essens streets to find dinner.
With earplugs in place, DJ Hidden was next - brutal beyond belief, and i stared in amazement at the people around me without earplugs, wondering why they weren’t bleeding from every orifice. My poor poor feet.
The “special guest” was an old german punk band, who were actually really freaking cool - I sat up at the balcony with Ely, and although understood nothing, the 3 piece put on a great show with some seriously catchy riffs. I ran up the front and got a bit too excited with Tzolk’in - slower tribal beats with ambient elements, and heard tracks which i’d been listening to at work for the last year - amazing to hear live, the intricacy and subtlety in their music was masterful live. And I think i have to apologise to mentioning again and again to everyone around me how excited I was to see them. Yeah… get over it Pete, we get the idea 
Second last was S.K.E.T of whom Talvekoidik is a member - and a good friend of Liis’ and who i unfortunately didn’t get to say hello to. They were stunning though - intricate but distorted dancefloor beats which had me wishing for more. Theirs was one of many sets who’s 45 minutes seemed to go past in 10. Unfair!
As the merchandise area erupted into early 90’s Technotronic and C&C Music Factory dance, the main stage was trampled by Dive - vocal driven showmanship over industrial beats which earned the disapproval of some, but I found strangely entertaining. Still, I left before the end, exhausted and beginning to come down with a cold - I gave my sad farewells and collapsed into bed. I don’t know how, but Ely stayed for the after party and came home around the time the birds begin to sing.
Monday somehow came and went - we woke up, packed, checked out, had a wander through Essen’s spaghetti streets, and still managed to not come across a single supermarket - so the lemon buttermilk still eludes me. We jumped on a train to Dortmund - sans ticket - and I waited in a McDonalds for 2 hours, thinking it was the last place i’d end up reading Monocle, as Ely rescheduled her plans for London.
It struck me how unique the whole region is - the greater Essen area. Each city feels small - village-like, but contains all the amenities needed for modern life, minus the skyscrapers. It doesn’t take long to get between cities, despite the surprisingly large population. Sure, this isn’t Frankfurt, Berlin, Munich or Hamburg, but that’s because they’re typically concentrated cities. The greater Essen area is a series of interconnected “villages”, but contains all the benefits of both styles of living - city and rural. It feels perfectly balanced. And with it’s geographic proximity to the rest of Europe, you can practically get anywhere you want within an hour’s flight.
Anyway - I noisily clamper to the top bunk in a full sleeping cabin on an overnight train to Prague…. and the not so gentle back and forth rhythms which Vibrasphere only partly mutes on my headphones…. i awake watching the lush green scenery as the train snakes through the river valley, passing town upon town, built on industry…
… to Praha Holesovice.
